Top All Time
10
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
01

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.

01.05
One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes and then walk away.
02

One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes and then walk away.

07.05
WIFI went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.
03

WIFI went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.

11.05
Dad, the man behind the legend that is ME
04

Dad, the man behind the legend that is ME

08.06
On this Rakhi, let’s bring back the lively spirit of childhood, play pranks with each other and become that wacky siblings we were always. Happy Raksha Bandhan.
05

On this Rakhi, let’s bring back the lively spirit of childhood, play pranks with each other and become that wacky siblings we were always. Happy Raksha Bandhan.

02.08
You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
06

You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

05.03
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
07

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

01.05
Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen.
08

Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen.

01.05
Oh! The places we’ll go because of you!
09

Oh! The places we’ll go because of you!

07.05
My wife’s not too smart. I told her, our kids were spoiled. She said, -All kids smell that way.
10

My wife’s not too smart. I told her, our kids were spoiled. She said, -All kids smell that way.

11.05
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YOU KNOW you’re getting older when you go to the store and buy stuff you don’t need, forget stuff you do need, and…and…what was I saying?

02/05
Ambreen
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YOU KNOW you’re getting older when you go to the store and buy stuff you don’t need, forget stuff you do need, and…and…what was I saying?
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So I’m reading that “twerking” and “selfie” have been added to the dictionary. “Future” and “optimism” have been removed… »

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  • And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.
  • Can I borrow a kiss,I promise I’ll give it back
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  • In my spare time I like to read, write and fall in love with unavailable people.

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  • In my spare time I like to read, write and fall in love with unavailable people.

    In my spare time I like to read, write and fall in love with unavailable people.

    05/03
    Comments Off on In my spare time I like to read, write and fall in love with unavailable people.
  • If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you
  • If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.
  • You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
  • You’ll never have a successful relationship with a woman if you can’t tell the difference between a smile and a warning..

Greetings

  • without me this day wouldn’t MEAN MUCH..

    without me this day wouldn’t MEAN MUCH..

    08/06
    Comments Off on without me this day wouldn’t MEAN MUCH..
  • The only thing better than having you for a HUSBAND
  • My father din’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
  • Thank you Dad for giving me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, for believing in me.
  • I SUPPOSE YOU’RE A REASONABLE FATHER.

Rakhi

  • Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet

    Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet

    02/08
    Comments Off on Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet
  • Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there when we need them
  • “A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves – a special kind of double.”
  • We gain and lose things everyday. But trust me on one thing.You’ll never lose me. I will always be here. Happy Raksha Bandhan!
  • To outside world we grow old, but not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we were as children. We always believe in innocent child living in our hearts. Have a lovely Rakhi Day!

One Liners

  • If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

    If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

    02/08
    Comments Off on If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
  • Can I borrow a kiss- I promise I’ll give it back.
  • Broken with no reason
  • Are you the energizer bunny cause you just keep going and going through my mind
  • And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

Love

  • And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

    And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

    05/03
    Comments Off on And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.
  • Can I borrow a kiss,I promise I’ll give it back
  • It’s not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize.
  • It’s not love until you don’t want them to have a good time without you.
  • The end of a relationship isn’t the worst thing. It’s worse when it doesn’t end after the end.

Funny

  • Is your name Wi-Fi_ Because I’m feeling a connection.

    Is your name Wi-Fi_ Because I’m feeling a connection.

    05/03
    Comments Off on Is your name Wi-Fi_ Because I’m feeling a connection.
  • I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.
  • The more people I meet, the more I like my dog
  • Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.Sincerely, the opportunist.
  • Common sense is not so common.

Creativity

  • To Live a Creative Life, We Must Lose Our Fear of Being Wrong

    To Live a Creative Life, We Must Lose Our Fear of Being Wrong

    30/04
    Comments Off on To Live a Creative Life, We Must Lose Our Fear of Being Wrong

Motivational

  • Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face

    05/03
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Marriage

  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

    Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

    02/08
    Comments Off on Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Christmas

  • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas

    Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas

    02/08
    Comments Off on Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas

Father's Day

    Festivals

      And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

      And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

      05/03
      Comments Off on And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.
      Can I borrow a kiss,I promise I’ll give it back

      Can I borrow a kiss,I promise I’ll give it back

      05/03
      Comments Off on Can I borrow a kiss,I promise I’ll give it back
      It’s not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize.

      It’s not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize.

      05/03
      Comments Off on It’s not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize.
      Is your name Wi-Fi_ Because I’m feeling a connection.

      Is your name Wi-Fi_ Because I’m feeling a connection.

      05/03
      Comments Off on Is your name Wi-Fi_ Because I’m feeling a connection.
      In my spare time I like to read, write and fall in love with unavailable people.

      In my spare time I like to read, write and fall in love with unavailable people.

      05/03
      Comments Off on In my spare time I like to read, write and fall in love with unavailable people.
      If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you

      If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you

      05/03
      Comments Off on If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you
      If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

      If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

      05/03
      Comments Off on If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

      I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.

      05/03
      Comments Off on I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.

      It’s not love until you don’t want them to have a good time without you.

      05/03
      Comments Off on It’s not love until you don’t want them to have a good time without you.

      Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face

      05/03
      Comments Off on Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face

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